Should Parents Help With Homework? Finding the Right Balance
The short answer
Yes, but as a companion, not as a second teacher. Help your child understand the task, and provide time, a place and quiet; your child finds the solution on their own. What matters is not only how often you help, but also whether your child experiences your help as support or as interference (in German).
Parents helping with homework: normal, but with a limit
"is it normal to help your kids with homework in the first grades or do you leave them to do it alone?" Someone asked this in the Reddit forum r/Eltern (post on Reddit (in German)). Many parents know the uncertainty behind it: you don't want to take the task off your child's hands, but you don't want to leave them alone either.
The answer has two parts. First: helping is the normal case in elementary school, and the numbers in the next section show it. Second: there is a limit, and it is fairly clear. Helping your child understand the task: yes. Handing over the solution: no. The Ministry of Schools in North Rhine-Westphalia (in German), for example, writes that homework should be something children can do "independently without outside help." In Lower Saxony, teachers may only assign homework that children can do independently (Lower Saxony Ministry of Education (in German)).
Instead of playing assistant teacher, three roles fit better:
- Organizer: You provide time, a place and materials.
- Translator of the task: You help your child understand what is meant.
- Contact person: You are within earshot, but not constantly sitting next to them.
You can find more about calm afternoons in general in our guide to homework in elementary school. How your child gradually becomes independent is covered in At what age do kids do homework on their own?.
What studies say about parental help in elementary school
How much parents help
- Nationwide, 2019: In the Deutsches Schulbarometer (in German) (infas, 1,011 parents), 66 percent of elementary school parents said they help regularly, most of them up to three hours per week, and more than one in three spending up to six hours a week or more.
- Nationwide, 2024 education report (Bildungsbericht 2024): According to the DJI study AID:A, parents of 7- to 11-year-olds discuss what their child has to do for school on 26 days a month on average. On 21 days they check whether the homework is done, and on 19 days they help with school matters (Bildung in Deutschland 2024 (in German), p. 159).
- Bavaria, grades 3 and 4: A parent survey by the University of Augsburg (in German) with 1,174 data sets shows what the help looks like. 81% check the homework for correctness or completeness at least once a week, 77% explain the task instructions weekly, and 65% explain content. 94% say they never do the homework completely for their child. On average, parents spend 118 minutes per week on homework help and learning together in math, German and HSU (Heimat- und Sachunterricht, general studies), and 89% of respondents are mothers. The researchers themselves point out that mainly families with medium to high qualifications and medium to high income took part.
The Augsburg study summarizes that parental help is mostly accompanying, explaining and checking; new material is usually taught by the school. So the question is rarely whether parents help, but how.
More help does not automatically bring more
- Germany, grade 4: In the longitudinal study BiKS, the educational success of children who were frequently supported with homework did not differ from that of children without this support. Frequent extra practice with parents was even associated with disadvantages (Luplow and Smidt, Zeitschrift für Erziehungswissenschaft (in German)). That does not mean helping does harm: according to the same study, parents mainly support when performance is poor. But the frequently supported children did not have an edge in educational success in this study either.
- Switzerland, 6th grade: A longitudinal study with 1,685 children looked at the amount and the type of help separately (Moroni et al., 2015). How often parents helped was negatively related to the development of performance. Help that children experienced as supportive was positively related, help they experienced as intrusive was negatively related. According to the University of Tübingen, it was especially favorable when parents interfered little but were still available for support. First author Sandra Moroni: "It makes a big difference whether children experience their parents' support as help or as unwelcome interference and control."
- Meta-analysis: When parents were specifically trained in homework support, elementary school children completed more homework and had fewer problems with it. Setting rules was more strongly related to school results than other forms of involvement (Patall, Cooper and Robinson, 2008).
- Homework itself: The relationship between homework and performance is weaker in elementary school (in the US, preschool year to grade 6) than in grades 7 to 12, according to a review of US studies since 1987 (Cooper, Robinson and Patall, 2006).
What we conclude from this
The findings suggest paying attention to the type of help, not just how often you help. Providing structure and being reachable fit the findings; interfering and constant checking do not. In elementary school, homework is mainly about practice and about the habit of starting and finishing on your own. A daily tutoring hour at the kitchen table is not needed for that.
Three kinds of help that work
The three roles put this into practice: provide structure, help with understanding, be reachable without interfering. The sentences below are suggestions. Try out what suits your child.
1. Organizer: time, place, materials
- A consistent routine: about the same time every day, a quiet place, pencils, notebook and book ready.
- A two-minute start: Look at the homework planner together. "What's on today? What are you starting with?" Then you leave.
- Clear rules instead of constant arguing: for example "Homework first, then the tablet." In the meta-analysis by Patall and colleagues, rules were more strongly related to school results than other forms of involvement.
How to turn this into a routine without arguments is covered in Homework without stress.
2. Translator of the task: understanding yes, solving no
Most parents already do this: 77% of the surveyed parents in Bavaria explain the task instructions every week (University of Augsburg). The difference is where you stop. Stay with the question "What are you supposed to do?" and don't move on to "What is the result?"
- Have your child read the task aloud. In first grade, you read it to them.
- Ask them to say the assignment in their own words.
- Find the key verb together: calculate, circle, complete, explain.
- Look in the notebook or book for an example task that has already been solved.
Example (made up): word problem in second grade
Task: Mia has 24 marbles. She gives Ben 9 marbles. How many marbles does Mia have now?
Instead of "That's 24 minus 9," you ask:
- "Please read the task to me."
- "What are you supposed to find out?"
- "Does Mia get marbles, or does she give some away?"
- "How can you work that out? You can draw it, too."
Your child does the calculating and writes the answer sentence alone. If 33 comes out, you ask: "Does Mia have more or fewer marbles than before?" You don't say the result.
3. Contact person: within earshot instead of next to them
- Stay nearby, for example in the kitchen, but don't sit with them the whole time.
- If your child asks, ask back first: "What have you already tried?"
- At the end: "Show me what you got done." Praise what you really see, for example "You didn't give up on task 3."
- If the mood turns sour, take a short break. An argument at the kitchen table costs more than an unfinished task.
The help ladder: as little as possible, as much as necessary
If your child is stuck, go down the ladder from the top and always take only one step more.
| Step | What you do | What you can say |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Let them keep trying alone for a bit | "Try for two more minutes on your own. I'm in the kitchen." |
| 2 | Have them read the task aloud (in first grade you read it) | "Please read the task to me once." |
| 3 | Assignment in their own words | "What are you supposed to do here? Say it in your own words." |
| 4 | Remind them of something familiar | "Where in your notebook have you done something like this before?" |
| 5 | A similar, easier task together | "Let's do a smaller one together. Then you can do the real one on your own." |
| 6 | Stop and write a short note to the teacher | "We'll ask about this at school tomorrow. I'll write a note." |
The ladder deliberately has no step "tell the solution." If you still don't get anywhere after step 5, you can stop for today and note the difficulty for the teacher.
Three kinds of help that do harm
1. Telling the solution or writing it in yourself
Children should be able to do homework alone, as it says, for example, at the Ministry of Schools in North Rhine-Westphalia. In the Augsburg survey, 94% of parents say they never do the homework completely for their child, and 6% do so at least once a month. Giving away the answer is a smaller version of the same problem. It is quick, but your child mainly learns that someone else knows how it works. If it happens anyway, say so openly: "I told you too much there. You do the next one alone."
2. Correcting everything before it goes to school
The Lower Saxony Ministry of Education describes the problem clearly: when reviewing, the teacher believes the child can do something alone that was actually managed with the parents' help. Then they may step in only late. And: "Homework done with mistakes also gives the teacher important feedback about which content and work techniques still need more practice."
Checking whether everything is done is fine. If you notice a mistake, one sentence like "Take another look at task 4" is enough. Whether your child then changes anything is up to them. More on checking without correcting: Checking homework in elementary school.
3. Turning homework into a second class period
Frequent extra practice came with disadvantages in the BiKS study (Luplow and Smidt). The caveat from above applies here too: parents mainly support when performance is poor. In two samples of eighth graders, experienced interference and arguments about homework were negatively related to academic progress, and experienced support was positively related (Dumont et al., 2012). And in an internal survey of 405 parents by the tutoring provider Studienkreis, almost a quarter said that arguments quickly arise when they tutor their child themselves (Studienkreis, 2024 (in German)).
If every afternoon ends in a fight, it's worth looking at the causes: Child doesn't want to do homework.
When you don't understand the material yourself
In the Studienkreis survey, 51 percent named a lack of subject knowledge as the reason for not tutoring themselves (Studienkreis, 2024). However, only parents who had inquired about tutoring there were surveyed. For elementary school material, the Augsburg survey shows a different picture: 90% of parents there showed a high level of subject knowledge, although in a rather well-educated sample.
Sometimes the material is not the problem, but a method you didn't learn that way. Why children now sometimes calculate differently is explained in our article Elementary school math: different from back then. What you can do:
- Have the method explained to you: "Show me how you do this at school." Your child becomes the teacher, and you ask questions.
- Use the notebook and book: Boxes with key points and solved example tasks show the way the class is currently practicing.
- Don't bring in a second method: If you don't know the class's way of calculating, don't explain your own as the right one. Ask the teacher instead.
- Write a note if you get stuck. That is not a weakness, but useful feedback for the school.
When time is short
36 percent of parents in the Studienkreis survey named lack of time (Studienkreis, 2024). If you work until the evening, you can't be there to support your child every afternoon, and you don't have to. The three roles can be condensed into two five-minute check-ins:
- Before, five minutes: in the morning, by phone or on a slip of paper. What's on, in what order, where is the material?
- After, five minutes: in the evening, "Show me what you got done." Acknowledge it and note open questions for the teacher. Don't redo it, don't correct it.
If after-school care (Hort), all-day care (Ganztag) or grandparents supervise the homework, the same rule applies: helping understand yes, solution no. This also applies to a learning app or AI: it should explain first and give hints instead of showing the result right away (how Gennady checks answers to tasks from the worksheet). What options there are for working parents is covered in Homework Help in Elementary School: Options and Costs.
Agreeing on the right balance with the teacher
The teacher can best tell you how much help is wanted. The Lower Saxony Ministry of Education explicitly refers parents to the class teacher for the type and amount of homework. According to the Tübingen press release, Sandra Moroni also advises looking, if necessary together with the teachers, for ways for the child to take responsibility for their own homework again.
Time is one reference point. In North Rhine-Westphalia, homework at schools without compulsory all-day programs should be doable in 30 minutes in grades 1 and 2 and in 45 minutes in grades 3 and 4 (Ministry of Schools NRW). In Lower Saxony, elementary school children should spend at most 30 minutes on it (Lower Saxony Ministry of Education). If your child regularly needs much longer, that belongs in a conversation with the school. More on this in Homework takes forever.
Four questions for the parent information evening (Elternabend) or parent-teacher conference:
- Should we leave mistakes as they are, or would you like us to point them out?
- How long should my child spend working on homework, and what do we do when the time is up?
- Which calculation or solution method is being practiced right now, so that I don't accidentally explain a different one?
- How should we let you know that my child needed help?
Template for a short note in the homework planner:
Math, task 3: my child did not manage this alone after 10 minutes. I had them read the task aloud and reminded them of the example in the notebook. I did not give away the solution.
Some schools explicitly provide for such a note. At Scharnebeck Elementary School (Grundschule Scharnebeck) in Lower Saxony, for example, children stop when the homework can't be done in the intended time, and "parents write a short note as feedback to the teacher" (school principles (in German)).
Frequently asked questions
Is it normal to help my child with homework in elementary school?
Yes. In the Deutsches Schulbarometer 2019, 66 percent of elementary school parents said they help regularly. What matters is the type of help: make the task understandable, provide quiet and materials, and be reachable, but leave the solution to your child.
Should I give my child the solution to the homework?
No. Children should be able to do homework independently, as it says in North Rhine-Westphalia and Lower Saxony, for example. The teacher also needs an honest picture of what your child can do alone. Instead, help with understanding the task, for example with the question “What are you supposed to do here?”, or work out a similar, easier task together.
Should I correct my child's homework before it is handed in?
Better not. The Lower Saxony Ministry of Education points out that homework with mistakes shows the teacher what still needs to be practiced. Checking whether everything is done is fine. If you notice a mistake, a hint like “Take another look at task 4” is enough.
At what age should I stay out of my child's homework?
There is no fixed age limit. According to the 2024 national education report (Bildungsbericht 2024), parents check homework less often the older the child gets. Try a gradual withdrawal: in first grade, stay nearby; by fourth grade, only the short start and a look at the end.
Does homework in elementary school make sense at all?
Research is cautious. A review of US studies found the relationship between homework and performance weaker in elementary school than in grades 7 to 12. In elementary school, homework mainly serves to reinforce and practice the material from class. How much there is, is regulated by the states and schools.
Gennady for tasks from the worksheet
Gennady reads the task aloud, explains the method step by step and checks your child's answer. If the answer is wrong, there are hints first; Gennady shows the correct solution for comparison only on the third try. Try it free for 7 days.
Open in the App StoreSources
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- Deutsches Schulportal (Robert Bosch Stiftung): Umfrage: Wie Eltern die Schule ihrer Kinder sehen, Deutsches Schulbarometer (2019). deutsches-schulportal.de
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- Reddit, r/Eltern: "Helft ihr euren Kindern bei den Hausaufgaben?" (2025). reddit.com